


Preamble

by SecretWonderland



Series: MCU mistake [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Avengers, Fuck Cannon, Loss of Trust, M/M, Oop, Peter Parker misses his Dad, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Protective Steve Rogers, Sokovia Accords, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but also I've never written for stony so like, just like the preamble to what's coming next, just trust me, literally this is a set up for the fic I wanna right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretWonderland/pseuds/SecretWonderland
Summary: “I think there are some things you missed about the Accords, can we all focus so I can continue filling you in, or are we going to continue to act like Peter is the most mature Avenger I have?”Or the one where Fury exposes just enough to force Steve into getting his shit together, his shit being Tony.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: MCU mistake [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703695
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i've never written for any marvel characters before but a friend requested this so here it is. I'm splitting this into two chapters because it's really fucking long and I'm not an asshole. Anyways, good luck.

_ Another slap, right to his face. Even with being a super soldier, he shouldn’t be standing. _

“Steve.”

_ Why is he holding back? Why isn’t- _

“Steve.”

_ Blue eyes glared up at him, or he really wished they glared because that would make a whole lot more sense than pleading with him, wasn’t the mask to hide emotions? Stupid idiot took it off so much it surely wasn’t for protection. _

“Rogers!”

Steve snaps his head towards Fury’s direction, apparently zoning out in meetings wasn’t exactly team friendly. And yeah, maybe he knows that, but today was their first real mission without everyone’s favorite genius in the room, the first one where actual orders were given instead of a frantic beg for help they could barely hear through the shitty reception of a flip phone. Given who had once been his friend, he had a weird animosity towards them now. 

“Are you bored, Cap? Because you sure didn’t look bored when you were getting your ass handed to you by a couple of robots.”

Fury always did know how to make anyone blush.

His words are aimed at Steve but everyone flinches, including Peter and he has a brief moment where he wonders who the hell let a fucking  _ child  _ work on the team. Kid wasn’t even sixteen yet, and here he was, in the middle of a conference meeting on SHIELD's nearest boat, getting the stink eye from Fury just like all the others. 

“Maybe if we had better-”

“If you say ‘tech’ I’ll send you to Switzerland, Barton. Especially because I distinctly remember you all raising a fit like a bunch of  _ children  _ about wearing Tony’s tech!”

The room flinches in response, if Clint sinks any further in his chair he’ll be on the ground, but Fury does have a point. Steve couldn’t bear looking at the shield a certain someone repaired. Sure, it felt wrong going into battle without it, but they all made it out alive. All things considered, they had done pretty well without their life-sized action figure. 

“Sir, with all due respect-”

“Respect isn’t what I care about! This is ridiculous people!”  _ Oh boy _ , he managed to piss off Fury. “Is Tony Stark the boogeyman now? You’re all flinching like he is! If he had been on today’s assignment would your heads be clearer? Maybe then  _ two _ entire buildings wouldn’t have been destroyed!” 

“In our defense, the bots attacked one of them-”

“Yeah, in your defense, the public is thrilled to be safe-the only reason why I’m not kicking your asses too! We are at  _ war  _ people! All the damn time! Now with fucking robots of all things! And you mean to tell me you want to have some petty fight with one of our founding members? The one who’s  _ good with technology _ ?! Am I talking to adults or not?”

It’s quiet for all of five minutes,the fury in Fury starting to fade, and then Peter raises his hand, “Technically, Mr. General Captain Director Fury, sir, I’m only fifteen.”

With the look he gets, no one will blame him if he doesn't show the next time they do this.

“Alright. I’ve had enough. Hill? Bring up the tape.” 

Natasha’s head springs up from where she had been examining her fingernails, doing a great job of pretending the people she had fought against less than a month ago weren’t sitting at the same table. “Sir. That video is private and Tony-”

Hill presses play before she can continue. 

If he’s learned one thing, it’s that Furry demanding something never meant anything good for the team. Usually, it meant running into a battle, with or without a plan, sometimes it meant a bunch of bullshit had happened, either way Steve always ended up with a bruise whenever the word ‘now’ left Fury’s mouth. 

A video should be the last of his concerns, how bad could it be? Unless it was a mind control video, and he wouldn’t put it past Fury to brainwash them into submission. He’d seen it done before, and the only difference between his one eyed friend and the people he punched in WWII was a small thing called ‘morals’. The one thing worse than mind control would be-would be seeing Tony with his hands laid out neatly on a desk that he had been carefully chained to. Steve  _ knows  _ that suit. The black one with a red shirt undearth, one of his favorites. Both of their favorites. He wore it when the two of them found their favorite ice cream shop, the first time he took Steve to the movies, when they went to Cinnabon after Tony ditched one of his Japan meetings, the first time he had given Steve a lesson on why flip phones should’ve stayed in the 90s.

It’s the suit Tony was wearing the day they had their biggest fight over the Sokovia Accords.

No wonder he had looked so exhausted before their fight had even started, he knew Tony hadn’t been sleeping, much less digesting anything besides coffee. And with the type of situation he’d been in before the fight...the eye bags suddenly made a lot of sense.

“Ah, nice of you to join the party, you’re who? A general? Another person from the U.N.? Come to hackle the big bad Iron Man?” The voice pulls Steve’s eyes back to Tony’s face. Part of wants to slap the irritation off out of pure reflex, the other half wants to hug him. And then another figure comes striding up on the holographic screen. 

Something about the man is eerily familiar. And that something isn’t just his military uniform. 

“Mr.Stark. The pleasure is all mine. My official title is doctor, but you may call me Vic-”

“That’s cool and all, but can we speed this up, Vicckie? Kinda have places to go, asses to kick, I’d really like a very big espresso shot and an hour alone with a buddy of mine  _ before  _ things get out of hand.”

Vic smirks at his captive on screen, never a good sign when a smile looks that corrupted.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, not until you sign the Accords.”

Tony rolls his eyes. Even from the screen it’s impressive. “Look, Vic, Vicckie, buddy. I’ve told you people a million times. You can’t force people to give over their rights, and there are some on the team who are  _ very  _ protective of their rights. Not to mention that most of us  _ are  _ citizens and I don’t know if you realize this, but giving away a right is very unconstitutional and-”

“Mr. Stark. I am  _ very  _ aware of how unconstitutional it all is. But there are worse things that could happen….”

His mouth slaps shut right as the doctor’s morphs into a sickening grin. Steve doesn’t like where this is going, and judging by the looks on his team mate’s faces, they’re all finally in agreement.

“You see, sir, the body of a human with abilities such as yourself….it must be remarkable.”

Tony shakes his head. “I think you have the wrong idea, the only thing special about me is that I made the suit.”

“Not everyone has that type of brain though, do they?” Vic takes a seat, Steve wishes he hadn’t.

“I would very much like to examine how your brain works, Mr. Stark. I think dissecting you could be very…...informative for governments. After all, imagine if the world had the brain fire to go with all it’s fire power.”

Tony stills.

“However, you’re being cooperative, so I guess you’re off limits. A dissapointment, really. But I guess someone with a brain like Hawkeye would work. I always wanted to know what really  _ did  _ happen to the Black Widow, surely he’ll have answers.” He doesn’t get a reaction, but Steve knows what Tony looks like when he’s trying to hold back.

“Even better for study is that one woman, the Scarlet Witch I believe she’s called? I’d give anything to find out the makings of her magic, that technology could possibly be removed, imagine the uses for it.” 

He’s shaking now, furious and about two seconds away from throwing a  _ fit  _ and the doctor is  _ still smirking _ .

“The person I’d like to examine first would have to be Mr.Super-Soldier though. We could make a world full of Captain Americas, all for the price of one Steve Roger’s lif-”

“Touch them and I’ll put a hole right through your chest.”

Handcuffs are off before anyone watching can blink, one second Tony is the picture of rage, the next he’s shoving the doctor against the wall.

“Lay one  _ fucking  _ finger on any of them and I’ll beat your brains in.”

Vic holds his hands up in surrender, “Now now, Mr.Stark. I only get them if they refuse to sign.”

Tony just pushes him more, snarling something that vaguely sounds like a threat. Steve is mostly sure that’s exactly what it is given that guards are running in and pinning Tony to the ground, shoving something on his head.

“What is this?! Get this off of me!”

Another, this time wider, grin from the doctor is all the warning they get before Tony chokes and screams. It’s hard to tell what from; fear, pain, sadness, it’s a mixed in. Just like the scream he made when they were fighting-

“NAT!”

Across the desk Natasha flinches, she won’t meet anyone’s eyes. Steve doesn’t blame her. Watching Tony, usually a complete and utter sarcastic asshole, sob on the ground and call out your name doesn’t exactly seem like a thing he could handle right now. Tony freezes mid cry, choking out something that sounds like Peter’s name, one sideways glance and it’s definitely what Spidey heard. He’d have to have their pep talk later.

Especially because Tony is hyperventilating now, screaming the words ‘Steve no!’ right before Fury waves the camera away. 

He can hear his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. No moves until Fury takes pity on them, or maybe it’s time for a punishment with the way the Director sits down. 

“I think there are some things you missed about the Accords, can we all focus so I can continue filling you in, or are we going to continue to act like Peter is the most mature Avenger I have?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


God damnit math is the sexiest thing he’s ever seen on Earth. So pretty with...with numbers and shit...and statistics, calculus is one of his favorites...the look on people’s faces when he solves some equation that would take them days  _ in his head _ , within like, three minutes. Those were the days, walking around the mansion, doing equations in his head, getting weird looks from even Thor….

Those  _ had  _ been the days, hadn’t they?

On the plus side, math is always there for him.

It, and the basic understanding of probability that even  _ children  _ could comprehend, is exactly how he knows this is perfectly safe.

Bottles are thrown around his living room, the one that looks out over the city so if it  _ does  _ happen, he can have a good view to keep him company. A vase or two are definitely broken, but he doesn’t really remember if he threw something, or threw them just for the hell of it. Jarvis has long been shut down, leaving him and his alcohol that he wasn’t supposed to touch, and a gun.

See, there’s logic behind the gun thing. Tony always has logic somewhere in his schemes, no matter what other people liked to believe. And although it may  _ look  _ like a dangerous situation, it’s a game. Just a harmless little game.

Using his repulsors to play his little Russian Roulette was out of the question. One blast and some agent would come running in claiming he was trying to overtake the world. Plus if he got lucky, someone else would need the suit eventually, who’s to say if they could actually use it, but still. Probably best not to die in it for that reason. 

A regular gun, one that probably didn’t belong to him in the first place, would have to do. 

The game is pretty simple, he’ll take a shot, think for a bit, and when he starts to feel too much, he’ll try the bullet. By all measures of probability, he should’ve gotten at least  _ one  _ wound, but here he is, downing another bottle and counting that as his ‘shot’. 

Still no fireworks this time. Disappointing really. 

There are so many things he could be doing, but he doesn’t have the energy. No energy to think, no energy to move off the couch, not even enough energy to sleep. Which is ridiculous, because he’s so fucking tired. Tired of waking up every day, tired of ignoring the lack of calls, tired of hurting, tired of keeping his brain off so he doesn’t have to remember all the shit he’s carefully put off with booze and adrenaline. 

But of course he can’t keep his stupid fucking brain off. 

Before this whole mess, it would be simple thoughts. Ways to save the world, how to fix quantum physics, improving upon everything he’d even done from weapons to the computer in his head. Casual things. 

But that had been before the Accords, before the disaster a small packet of paper had caused. Tony’s said it before, and he’ll say it as long as he lives. Politics is fucking stupid.

So simple. It would’ve been so simple just to say ‘no’, but he didn’t do that. He couldn’t do that. His stunts around the world had cost so many people so many things. From their homes to the family members he couldn’t get it in time, so many things he could’ve done better.

Tony’s eyes shut just long enough for it to all flash in front of them.

A little girl crying on the street, her parents had been under a building he knocked down. A limp man, he’d been paralyzed by flying debris. A woman cowering when he glances at her, her house had just been blown up by aliens. Bodies he couldn’t even begin to count, so many casualties. So many people he couldn't get to in time. If he just tried harder, if he has been more careful, if he had just _ listened _ -

A pair of blue eyes glaring at him.

Tony snaps up right. Apparently, he needed to drink a little more. Thinking about Steve sober is never a good idea, not anymore. Not with what he knows. 

Fucking painful, knowing that your best friend’s most important person had killed your parents. Knowing it was his fault, knowing Bucky now, seeing how much had changed. Tony knew a thing or two about mind control, because he had been the object of one or two mind controls. Maybe if he hadn’t rushed in so quickly, let his anger consume him, quelled his jealousy before it got out of hand. Maybe then it wouldn’t have lead to-

_ “Tony, don’t make me do this.” _

_ He throws the punch anyway. _

A complete and utter fuck up. He doesn’t play the game right this time. He’s supposed to take a shot, put the bullet somewhere with his eyes closed, and pull the trigger. Instead he downs whatever bottle he grabs first, tastes like coconuts, probably Malibu, and then throws the gun to his head. 

Only this time, before he can pull the trigger someone is shouting and the gun is slapped out of his hand.

_ What the hell? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He makes Thor fly him over to the Stark Tower the second Tony doesn’t answer his phone. Tony always has his phone on him, he never looks away from the glowing screen, which is probably why fear is starting to mix with the guilt in Steve’s gut. 

When was the last time someone from their team saw Tony? When they left him in the snow to rush back to save New York for the hundredth time? That had been a week, maybe two weeks ago. Pepper hadn’t been able to say his name when they got back, something about not believing he could try and fight someone who meant so much to him. Rhodey had been dealing with the mess of the first attack, not to mention threatening politicians still pushing for the Accords, using Steve’s own words against them. Happy was….well, he’d seen the grave, Nat had filled him in on the rest. The rest of the team was barely speaking to each other, much less the man who had been left bleeding in the cold. 

Steve dropped down at the front door, moving in before anyone could realize what was happening, or do something worse, like keep him from getting to Tony.

Jarvis doesn’t welcome him when he steps into the elevator, so he makes the first move.

“Jarvis, Tony is here, right?”

God, it was crazy to have missed a robotic voice.

“Yes, Mister Rogers, however, I do believe he requires assistance. He has shut me off in the living room, so I have not been able to assist Mr.Stark. I fear he may be-”

It’s music to his ears until Jarvis cuts off and the door opens and  _ Tony  _ is there.

Or, Tony’s mess is there. 

Steve doesn’t bother to count the bottles on the floor, or the pieces of the suit that have been tossed off to leave cracks in the tile. He keeps one foot in front of the other. Ignores the anger looming over Tony’s broken ‘no drinking’ promise, and focuses on the sudden anxiety creeping into his chest.

This is not a good sign. This amount of alcohol in his system is almost as bad as Bruce around politicians. Hopefully, he’s already passed out and they could talk about this once he’d slept. Best case scenario, Tony was without his suits, passed out on the floor, and Extremis was working overtime to repair any liver damage. Worst case scenario? Steve didn’t want to think about that.

Usually because that means Steve has to avoid getting shot by repulsors.

What he finds is much worse.

Tony’s on the couch, even  _ more  _ bottles around him-seriously, how many liquor stores did he buy out?- downing a white bottle and then raising a shaky hand to his head. Metal is in his hand, a  _ gun  _ is in his hand.

_ Not good fucking- _

He’s moving before he can really think about it, after all Tony is seconds away from blowing his brains out and, call him selfish, but Steve really can’t handle that right now. It’s a mistake of course, because after the gun is on the floor, he’s left pinning Tony to the couch, both staring with wide eyes because  _ fuck this is bad _ . 

It’s quiet for an awkward amount of time and Tony isn’t speaking so Steve takes a deep breath and steels himself for whatever answer he’ll get.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Tony flinches like Steve had hit him. Instead of answering he raises his hand, brushing it lightly against Steve’s cheek. Then his eyes widen, fingers retreat like Steve’s skin burns him. Part of him is expecting the man to whisper something cheesy like ‘you’re real’ and break down into tears.

Thankfully, Tony just adverts his gaze, “Playing a game.”

“With a gun to your head?”

He tries not to think about the last time he heard that voice, the last time they were this close, the last time Tony’s voice was soft like this around him. 

“Come on, don’t tell me you haven’t heard of Russian Roulette.”

No smile in his voice, it’s oddly emotionless, like the voice modulator in the mask is now permanently ingrained inside of him. Steve ignores his question to look around at the damage. His friend- are they still friends?- is going to have a horrible morning.

“We should get you to bed. Can you stand?”

Tony shakes his head. Then protests the second Steve if lifting him into his arms.

“Put me down! I’m not a princess! None of this is real, damnnit! Aren’t hallucinations supposed to be-”

“Not a hallucination, Tony.”

That shuts him long enough to start up the stairs, until he reaches the fifth step at least.

“But-but that’s. Steve isn’t-he wouldn’t. Steve’s off saving the world! He wouldn’t check on  _ me _ of all people, he’s got...important things to worry about! Like-like Bucky, and the U.N., and there were robots? I think? Something happened-he went back, he’s with people he cares about-Jarvis I swear if you’re just fucking with me to get me to bed-”

“I most certainly am not, sir. Mister Rogers, in his flesh and blood, is the one getting you to bed. And may I thank you for bringing him somewhere I can assess him, sir.”

Tony’s gone scarily still in his arms, but Steve is determined to help at this point, they suddenly have a lot more than the video to talk about. “No problem, Jarvis.” 

Silence hangs around them until he eases Tony onto the bed and finds he can’t pull away with Tony’s hand pulling on his t-shirt. 

“Don’t.” He swallows, rather loudly, “Um. If you’re, ya know, really real and here and all, which I still don’t think you are because Jarvis can be a real dick sometimes, then just-I dunno I just-I can’t….” Tony takes a deep breath, resting his head right on Steve’s heart. “If I wake up again I don’t….”

His words fall off but Steve hears enough to make him slip his boots off and crawl into bed next to the other man. They’ve done this before, for the first few weeks after Loki’s first attack, before Steve had been pulled away for another job. Back when Steve had discovered their shared nightmares for the first few days after a particularly hard mission. It was so much of a habit for him to crawl into Tony’s bed when his voice sounded like that, he doesn’t think a thing of it until Tony is sobbing on his chest, and he gets a good look at the man’s face.

It’s dirty and scarring from their fight, his left eye is bruised, lips cut. Steve really doesn’t want to see the rest of him. He uses Tony crying as an excuse to pull him closer, not because it hides what Steve did to him. 

“God. Fuck. I’m-I’m so sorry.”

Steve shushes him, rubbing circles into the man’s back, just like they did before this whole mess. 

“I, I don’t know what’s happening to me but I’m so  _ tired _ . I want it to end…and alcohol seemed good because the Extremis heals everything and- ”

“Tony.” The name tastes like home, but it feels wrong like maybe there’s still a monster hiding behind that door. At least he can say it again. “Go to sleep, Tony.” 

“But you won’t be here when I wake up.”

There’s a smudge of dirt right above his eyebrow, Steve wipes it away, lets himself cup Tony’s cheek. “I will be.”

“Promise?”

Blue eyes lock in on him and manage to throw him back in time to a cold base and an even colder sinking feeling. Steve nods himself back to reality. 

“Promise.”

His hands never stop rubbing up and down between Tony’s shoulder blades, which means it’s not long before Tony’s asleep. Only then does he ask Jarvis for any information he’s gathered.

A British voice lulls him to sleep, only for the worry to wake him up.

Too many bottles to count, something about Extremis keeping him up and alive, something about a suicidal rant, something about how bad the hangover is going to be. Coffee and Aspirin are waiting by the bed when Tony wakes, he reaches for them after a long groan, but once there’s nothing but a coffee cup to keep his focus, he looks towards Steve and  _ oh fuck this is gonna hurt. _


	2. Chapter 2

“You-you’re? What? Oh, what the fuck?” Tony slaps a hand over his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Steve keeps still on his pillow, blinking and trying to hide his amusement. It doesn’t work.

“Jarvis? What did I tell you about holographics? I thought we agreed that’s a bad idea after last time!”

“You mean to tell me you made Jarvis put me in your bed before?”

Tony pauses. His left eyebrow raises and his hand is reaching forward. Steve catches it halfway, and now that he’s got it, he’s not letting go. Their fingers intertwine and Tony is choking out words all over again.

“I-what? You? What are you-”

“Well someone’s gotta stop you from committing suicide.”

“Why the hell would you wanna do that?”

Steve feels like he’s been gutted. “What are you talking about Tony? Why the hell would you want to do it?”

He’s met with a face that tells him it’s supposed to be obvious. “Well for starters, I have nothing left, do I? My team is gone because of my own stupid choices, I lost my two best friends, Rhodey stopped talking to me when you and I started fighting. Pep left me because I’m a disappointment, Peter can’t even  _ look  _ at me, and now here I am, probably half dead and god or whoever the hell is real these days, has decided that Steve should be the one to save me? News flash, buddy, Steve hates me. He’d probably give me the final blow if he could.”

“No he-I wouldn’t!”

“You’re slipping your words champ, nice try though-”

Steve lets out a frustrated growl, racking his head for something only the two of them would know. There’s so much they’ve shared, so much that he could bring up. But, because he’s an idiot he blurts;

“When we first met. You told me you don’t play well with others. I told you how selfish you are and three days later you flew into a wormhole and couldn’t sleep until the night Pep called me to come over. You fell asleep in my arms but I know you heard me when I told you how scared I was and how I never got to apologize. The next morning we made waffles. You had whipped cream and strawberries on yours. I had-”

“Chocolate chips.” Tony cuts in. He has that look on his face that he always gets when he realizes how urgent, in this case real, things have gotten. “We argued about blueberry or chocolate chip waffles, but I didn’t feel like going out and getting more fruit. We made two batters…”

Steve still has the other’s hand, so he gives it a light squeeze, giving Tony a second to catch up and go through his usual stages of denial. He expects the walls going up and two seconds later Tony glares at him, guarded and calculating.

“Well, firstly, how the hell did you get in my house. Secondly, what the hell are you-”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re big and scary and I broke in because I was worried and Jarvis literally opened the door for me-”

‘’-Jarvis you absolute traitor-”

“-and it’s all because Fury-”

“-and you still have no right to be in my-”

“-showed us this video-”

“-house furthermore- wait. What video?”

“Yes a video, Tony.” Steve sighs out, completely ignoring Tony talking over him, he’s gotten used to it and fuck did he actually miss it. He didn’t miss Tony flinching when he says the man’s name though.

“What video?”

_ Oh fuck _

Agent Hill wishing him ‘good luck’ before he left is starting to make more sense.

“Right, do you remember the day we got in our worst fight about the Accords? The one where you threw a plate and I dented the counters back at the mansion?”

Tony swallows, he knows what’s coming next.

“Fury, he um, showed us what happened  _ before  _ that fight….with the docto-”

“Of fucking course he would.” The mechanic throws himself off the bed, pacing around and Steve knows it’s not appropriate, but with the view behind Tony, he looks like he stepped out of a painting. And then the masterpiece glares at him. “That doesn’t change what I did. What I’m doing. It doesn’t change that you were right from the beginning and-”

“Tony. Shut the hell up.”

At least he remembers how to take orders. Steve fixes him with a look that used to pin him every time. The one that Tony once called his ‘bullshit honest puppy face’ that could ‘end world hunger if you tried hard enough fuck’.

“We didn’t know...none of us did. We didn’t even think you’d be trying to protect us, we just thought you were saving your own ass. Which was wrong, because we know you. We know how many times you’ve laid over the wire so other people would crawl over it. I was wrong. For a lot, fuck I really messed up, Tony.” He looks down at his hands for the next part, not wanting to see the look on the man’s face. “I didn’t listen to you. I lied to you. I let myself believe some fucked up lie without even trying to talk to you about it. Worst of all, I hurt you. Badly. And after that video….”

There’s so much between them, but neither voices it. Not now, not when whatever hope there had once been is gone. Not when Tony is looking at him like he’s lost his mind.

“I’m sorry. For everything. For lying about Bucky, for not being here even though you’ve needed me. For what happened back in...well, just for all of it.”

Tony crosses his arms. 

“Steve Rogers I have just as much to be sorry for and you know it-”

“Tony, no you don’t-”

“-if I hadn’t been so freaked out-”

“-I should’ve listened-”

“-we could’ve punched the politicians together-”

“-then maybe we-”

“-shouldn't have been so blind-”

“-I’m sorry.”

“-Thank you.”

Steve does a double take, “What?”

It’s Tony’s turn to avoid gazes now, looking out below him like the rising sun is suddenly something of his interest. “I said thank you….” Extremely quiet, like Tony is every time he voices something with emotion behind it, and just like the other times he continues, never being able to stop once he’s started. Steve missed it.

“You didn’t have to come here, or say any of this. To be completely honest the probability of ever seeing you again was so low I had forgotten that you have a tendency to be unpredictable and kinda expected for it to never happen, given, you know, what  _ did  _ happen. But, despite that fact that once again this is all very uncalculated, you came. You’re here. You apologized, and won’t let me apologize because that’s exactly how you work, even though we’re both guilty. And if you hadn’t come I would definitely be dead so that’s a thing. The Extremis doesn’t let me get black out drunk, which is incredibly unfair, and I know there’s gonna be hell to pay from either you or Jarvis, or god-forbid Pepper and Rhodey if they find out about last night, and now that I’m thinking about it-”

Steve cuts him off with a hug. Successfully muffling him until he gives up all together and  _ god  _ he’s never letting Tony go again, even if it fucking kills him.

“You talk too much, do you know that?”

Tony shrugs, “At least that much hasn’t changed.”

He probably shouldn’t laugh but it’s much easier to let the chuckle fall off his lips. Steve pulls back just far enough to meet blue eyes.

“I missed it, I missed you. Home hasn’t been the same without you rattling off numbers and keeping me company at three a.m.”

They stand there searching for a moment, eyes locked and still very much in each other’s space. Tony doesn’t move so he doesn’t either. Just two parts trying to find a middle ground, someplace to land in all of this. Their breaths mingle, and Tony seems to find whatever he’s looking for, at least Steve hopes that’s why he gets to see the smile that’s been absent for far too long.

“I missed you too.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It isn’t difficult to coax Tony back to bed, and it’s never hard to fall asleep when Tony is near. Each of them wake up at different points, but when the other is still there they each find it’s better to get closer and fall asleep while they can convince themselves that the other is real.

When Steve wakes up the final time, the sun is starting to lower and Tony is staring at him. He blushes like a child with his hands in the cookie jar, or more likely a jar full of tools.

“Sorry. I, uh, this looks way more perverted than it is I swear.”

Steve laughs. Throws his head back and completely ignores Tony’s stuttering excuse he’s laughing too hard to hear.

“Come on, we both need to eat.”

Tony perks up at that, “What are you feeling, Cap? Because, personally, I was thinking pancakes.”

“Only if you have chocolate chips for the batter.”

“I also have blueberries.”

Steve smirks at him, “I thought we agreed last time that chocolate chips are better.”

“That’s just because you haven’t had  _ good  _ blueberry pancakes.”

He’d never get over how much he missed this. Missed Tony, his ridiculous coffee machine, the sarcasm, the smiles. Listening to him talk while helping him cook.

“Come on, Tony, you're gonna burn your bottom.”

“I  _ am  _ a bottom, thank you very much-” he chokes on his coffee when he sees Steve’s face. “You don’t know what that is, do you? You know, that’s probably a good thing right now. Like you’d probably put me through the wall for that one.”

“I would not! You saved my pancake, if anything I’d be nice and put you through the table.”

Tony snarks out a laugh and yes this is exactly how things should be, the two of them, laughing in the kitchen over something stupid. Everything nice and calm and peaceful and-

A rumble outside is the only warning he gets before a familiar alarm is sounding on his phone.

“Cap-”

Steve hugs him, “I’ll be back.”

“Let me come.” Tony pulls him back by his hand. “Please, I have an extra suit-”

“No.” He wrenches his hands out of Tony’s so he can grab his shoulders. Iron Man on the field would be amazing, but not when Tony was drunk and suicidal not even a day ago. Not when he could hurt someone before he helped them. Not when he’s still shaking. “Not right now. We can’t have the pancakes burning, can we?”

One last hug before Tony can protest and he’s running and jumping from the building, pressing a button on his wristband and letting his suit flow into place on his body. “Rogers on sight, where’s my team at?”

“Three minutes away from the attack zone” Nat’s voice cuts over the intercom in his cowl, “What’s your location?”

“Headed to the ground from Stark Tower.”

Clint chuckles before Steve can tell him not to. “Went so well you stayed the night, huh?”

“Many congratulations on your courtship!” There’s Thor.

“Ew. Can we not talk about them? It’s bad enough Mr.Stark is missing but that idea of him and Cap is feels like my parents-” 

“Peter. I promise that is  _ not  _ what happened. Can we focus? Where are the bad guys at?”

“Main Street, Cap. I’ve got eyes on more of those weird robot things.” 

“They’re not reacting to my magic.”

Steve drops down and runs, following Sam’s direction through the grid system of New York, trying not to worry about Wanda’s claim. 

“If they don’t respond to magic, brute force always works.”

“Captain has a point. Perhaps I may be of use.”

It’s always nice when Vision joins the fight. He gets a lift the rest of the way from said man, dropping straight into the fray and knocking a robot off the Hulk’s back. They’re swarming like bugs, there’s too many. Natasha backs into him, they fight off five, she’s bleeding from her cheek. Clint’s been reduced to stabing what he can while Sam tries to get what’s left. Thor and Hulk beat and batter, even when Mjolnir is punched into the ground the bots don’t stop. Peter had his back to Vision, Wanda covers them, it doesn’t stop a bot from slicing right next to the kid’s throat and the first thing he’s going to do when this is over _ is kill Fury for letting a kid fight with them. _

It’s too much and just when they’re starting to get back the upper hand, when things are starting to get better and the bots are starting to fall there’s a giant thud.

Steve takes back his previous thought.

The first thing he’s going to do when this stupid thing is over is kill Tony. 

Iron Man takes about one minute to take down the remaining bots, including the one that tries to claw Steve’s face off. He slashes and shoots, straight up tosses one of the bots into the harbor like it’s nothing. One after the other his team falls back into line, beating the bots down and away until it’s just them, Tony, and metal bits in the street.

The mask comes up the same second Steve rips off his cowl.

“I told you to-”

Tony manages a wave at all of them, and then, because Steve hasn’t had enough of a headache growing since he touched down, Tony faints, still in the suit, right on top of a bot, in the fucking middle of Main Street.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Steve is gonna kill him. There’s no doubt about that, he saw the look on the other man’s face before everything went to black. Steve looked like he wanted to deck him and he just happened to pass out before the Cap got the chance.Waking up in his own bed in the tower is a good sign, but he’s not fooled. Once he’s out of bed, he is going to get beat within an inch of his life by the friend he just got back. 

This is the exact reason Tony stays under the covers for as long as he can stand to. It’s warm here, he can feel Jarvis working in the back of his mind, the pillows feel like clouds. Everything is warm and good here. Life is so very precious….and he can’t manage more than thirty minutes staying still so this plan was doomed from the start wasn’t it? 

Tony checks to make sure he’s clothed and tells Jarvis not to alert anyone, the more time he has to surprise Steve, the better. There are exactly 57 ways to approach the man, and nearly every single one of them is ending with Tony on his ass bare minimum. 

But not approaching and talking about it would be worse because that has the chance of Steve never talking to him again, and he’d rather be slammed from his bedroom to the bottom floor than let that happen. 

He’s taken in all the variables, except that he forgot to ask Jarvis about how many people were in the tower, because he completely forgot the possibility of the others coming. Much less the probability of them being in the living room, watching what looks like Loony Tunes. Even less than that, Peter being the first one to see him and drop his glass bowl full of popcorn that makes a smash just loud enough for everyone to turn and stare. 

_ Fuck _ he always said Peter would be the death of him. 

Steve rounds the corner next, fully prepared to fight whatever startled the kid, but then he sees Tony and smiles.

“Back from the dead already?”

He finds himself grinning back, “If you promise not to kill me for ignoring orders.”

Just like that whatever ice the team had been frozen in shatters and Peter is running at him. There’s barely enough time for Tony to catch the kid when he jumps, it takes three whole seconds for his brain to reboot and recognize that Peter is squeezing him so hard his face really might turn blue.

“Mr. Stark! You’re okay! I was so worried Mr. Rogers thought I was going to wear a whole in your ceiling, which is ridiculous by the way because I only let myself up there like three times and they were completely by accident, you know how my feet are, but you’re here and alive and-”

“Alight, Alright, let the man breath Pete.” 

Spidey backs off in shame at Clint’s order, patting Tony's shoulders and lowering his eyes.

“Sorry, I forgot we aren’t quiet to-”

Tony wraps his arms around the kids and pulls him close. “I saw you take down at least twenty bots out there and I am  _ so proud of you,  _ young man.”

It’s a mistake, really, because once Tony approves one hug, Thor pushes them all into a bigger hug. No one can breath, but they all laugh anyways and there’s too many people telling Tony that he’s an idiot and that they missed him. Entirely too emotional for his comfort, but Steve is smiling with the rest of them and Peter is looking at the two of them like they hang the moon and stars, not like some kid watching his parents fight.

Not an immediate fix, but it’s a start, right?

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So we agree that blueberry is better, then.” 

If Steve rolls his eyes one more time they really might fall out. Instead he shoves what would’ve been his final bite of breakfast into Tony’s mouth so he can’t talk. Or, Steve can’t understand it when he talks.

Blueberry pancakes are, in fact, one of the best things he’s had since waking up, and he’s about to thank Tony for bugging him into trying them when Peter drags an exhausted Clint into the room.

“We smelled pancakes!”

“Correction, I smelled coffee and this kid really knows how to wake someone up in the morning.”

Tony points to the coffee maker where Jarvis is already pouring a pot for Clint. He swears the man mutters something about Tony being a coffee god, Steve just thinks it’s an addiction.

The breakfast bar fills up quickly with so many people in the tower, most of them will be gone soon, moving back into the mansion, hopefully Tony will be among those people. They had talked about it, he admitted to missing it. That was a great start, right? 

He watches Tony mid-debate with Bruce and Vision over some science thing he can’t be bothered to wrap his head around. Not that he can’t, he’s just a little busy watching. When he’s like this, all animated and going off about something that actually matters to him, he’s beautiful. Just like he is when he’s sleeping and curls into Steve’s arms. Just like he is when he’s fighting, or when he’s covered in motor oil and hasn’t slept in three days. Now that he bothers to think about it, Tony’s always been beautiful.

Steve will probably tell him that later, when they’re alone and getting ready for bed. Hopefully, he won’t end up sleeping on the couch but it’s a risk he’s willing to take. He’s willing to bed money that Tony is even more beautiful when he blushes or when he's-

“Mr. Stark? Did you ever find out the name of that doctor? The one from the tape? I kinda wanna smash his face in so-”

Natasha smacks him over the head at the same time Wanda hisses out ‘Peter!’ Thor being Thor, contuses the sentiment, probably because, just like Peter, he lacks a cute little thing called a filter.

“I agree with Peter, I too would enjoy bringing my mighty hammer into the teeth of the doctor.”

Steve catches Tony’s hand under the table, just encase. But, Tony being Tony, he just shrugs and smiles.

“Sorry Pete, all I know is that the asshole is Dr. Vic D. No one told me what the last time was.”

Clint sighs into his stack of maple goodness, “Probably something stupid. D for Dick.”

“Or Deranged with the way he talked.” Natasha adds. It gets a laugh from a few of them, but the rest still look at Tony like he’s going to break. Naturally, he can’t have that.

“Come on, you guys are underselling him. I’m willing to be it’s something flashy and stupid sounding. Like Doom. Dr. Doom. Sounds evil and dumb at the same time.”

Once Tony’s joke it out of the way they all relax, passing condiments and napkins because Sam is being a little clumsy this morning, really it's Red Wing's fault for trying to snag a bite of blueberry when Sam isn't looking.

“We joke, but I bet it’s a boring last name,” Peter starts, “Probably Davis or Daniels. Probably just a crazy guy in a lab coat.” 

Tony flashes him a smile, still holding Steve’s hand underneath the counter. Their fingers are interlocked now, and call him hopeful, but it does bode well for his evening plans.

“Dr. Doom is way funnier.”

Steve smiles with him, “He’s got you there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said this is the beginning to the thing i'm writing next that's gonna be kinda super family-ish with heart break and love and all that shit. let me know if you have any complaints because while i did proof read and fact check i am not an expert. also i hope you're all safe and healthy. don't catch it, love you and see you in the next part (also i am completely not sorry for screwing cannon in this)


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